• Meg Marie

Dirty Deets: The most common push-backs to boudoir photography.


An intriguing aspect of being a boudoir photographer is discussing what boudoir photography is. At its core, boudoir photography is about empowerment, driven by the art form of the female body, designed to reveal the goddess in each of us. As an experience, a boudoir session is an exercise in breaking through our society's cookie-cutter mold of what a woman is - in turn, making it a bullseye for debate. It comes as no surprise that people have some rather strong opinions about this topic, and I'm here to serve up a little rebuttal to the most taboo and stigmatized push-backs I've heard.

"I don't have the body for boudoir."

Despite that conditioned negative voice, boudoir is intended to celebrate all bodies. Period. No matter your size, age, weight, or shape. If you have a skewed perception about which body types are worthy of being honored, then it may be time to make a positive and more accepting shift by booking a session! Because your body, just as it is, is an incredible vessel, and the idea that you must look a certain way in order to be considered acceptable and worthy is absolute bullshit.

"I don't have anyone to do it for."

Your relationship status doesn't determine whether or not you qualify for a boudoir session. It's common for women to book a session as a gift for their bae, yes, but I never encourage that to be the deciding factor. Most of the time, the "gift" is a way of giving yourself permission to do it, and that's a-okay! But you also have permission to do this regardless, because relationship or not, your body doesn't belong to anyone but you, and your body's value isn't in the hands of someone else's opinion. Do it alllll for you!

"My boyfriend/husband doesn't see the point."

Time to trade him in! Ok, I'm kidding - unless he shames you for doing one, then by all means, drop that douche canoe. But the truth is, some guys just don't understand why a woman would invest in a boudoir session. "I can see her naked whenever I want" is a common reaction, or, "what does she need to prove? I think she's gorgeous", and therein lies the problem: some men intrinsically think a woman's body is made just for them. So, while this gives me a chance to practice my calm breathing (insert smirk), it's just another reason why I advocate for you. You'll get so much more out of your session than he ever will, anyway. Promise.

"Women who do this are just insecure and begging for attention."

I'll keep this one short: A woman who invests in her own sense of self-worth and chooses to vulnerably express herself is doing so out of self-respect. To think otherwise, is just a projection of your own insecurities, and that says a hell of a lot more about you than her. Shaming a woman for her decision to do a boudoir session is straight up garbage behavior. #thankyounext

"It's not empowering to pose for photos in lingerie."

If lingerie isn't your idea of empowerment, then don't wear it for your boudoir session! There's a common misconception that a boudoir shoot must be done in lingerie, and NOPE. You can wear whatever you'd like, as long as you feel confident and empowered. Of course, I'll weigh in with my professional guidance to ensure your wardrobe is flattering to your body type, but it could certainly be a flowy dress or jeans with heels. Just know that going nudey judy is empowering to some, and it's not your place to tell her it's not. Neither choice is more 'boudoir' than the other because it's not about stripping down physically, but mentally. Empowerment isn't something you put on or take off, it's how you feel, so whatever empowers you is what we'll focus on.

"I wouldn't know what to do with photos like that."

Here's a confession: I buy shoes I absolutely love even though I have no idea when I'll get the chance to wear them. I'm a sucker for cute pumps, but I live in the woods, so opportunities to wear them are slim. Anyone else? I feel fancy just having them in my closet, though, knowing one day they'll get a spin around the block and I'll feel like a freakin' goddess in them. Well, a boudoir session is an investment in feeling like a freakin' goddess, and there are all kinds of ways to amp up your ROI with photos like that. Like this!

"I would never spend that kind of money on boudoir photos."

A question I'll typically ask when I hear this is, "how much were you expecting to spend?" Boudoir photography is a luxury purchase, and just like any other luxury expense, you weigh the pros and cons to ultimately decide if it's an investment you feel good about making. While I personally expect to pay more for an empowering boudoir experience than the latest expendable iPhone, I understand that it's not where everyone's financial values lie, and I talk more about that here. It may be something you have to save for, or something you have to pay into with a pre-session payment plan, but either way, it's something that must be of value to you.

So tell me, what's holding you back? Is it something listed above? Comment below and we can have a healthy chat about it!